Memory of addiction

The memory of addiction

This short story brings in closure, again....

The memory of addiction

Kitsilano. Such a beautiful place to live. Friendly people, coffee shops. The ocean not far down from 4th Ave. You can see glimpses of the beach as you walk past different sized condos mixed in with the houses still in their original form from 50 years ago. Well maintained and manicured.

These are some of the pleasant memories I have of living in the Kitsilano area. Brought forth to me easily as I put up flyers on streetlight posts advertising my friends moving company.

Everything is seen from a completely different perspective now, as I live my life free from drug addiction. 14 months clean. Ya!

As I put up another flyer, I look down a familiar alley. Oh yeah....I remember this alley....one of the many that my partner and I would travel down in the never ending search for bottles.

Perferably 2L's and plastic (because they're lighter). There were 2 kinds of hits that I and my boyfriend loved. The first and by far the best was a hit of heroin, the second was a hit of about 20 or 30 dollars worth of beer cans that somebody had just left in the ally and were meant for me and Steve. To us at the time, it was a godsend. We were the only ones meant to find this gift. Me and Steve the 'gift' along with our other 'treasures' would than proceed to find the shortest distance between us and the liquor store so we could 'liquidate' our bottles into cash and continue on our journey of the never ending search for hits.

Once the connection was made with the dealer, we would head back to one of our preferred places to fix. Usually a condo with a stairwell heading down into their parking lot. Never a busy place plus good access to clean water from the garden tap.

Fixing drugs: A very strong memory of addiction. It can also be a dangerous one. It depends on your perception at the time of the thought. Its kind of ironic though that something as unhealthy and with such dire consequences as fixing drugs in an ally way can also be incredibly seductive.

But not today. I look at the women of my past in my memory and thank God for my sobriety. How many years had I lived like that? Far to many and yet not enough to kill me.

My life today is so totally different. A life I could only dream of as an addict. Completely unattainable or so I thought. I found the silver lining in my cloud.

Perception!!